The Lagos State Domestic and Sexual Violence Agency has issued a strong advisory stressing that consent in marriage is an ongoing process that does not end at the wedding altar. In a statement posted on its X page on Friday, the agency underscored that intimacy in marriage must be a shared choice, not an obligation, and that respecting a partner’s “yes” or “no” is essential for fostering trust, love, and safety.
The agency outlined that consent must adhere to the F.R.I.E.S. framework: Freely given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic, and Specific. It emphasized that “silence is no, reluctance is no,” and clarified that consent can be withdrawn at any point before or during an intimate act, requiring the other party to stop immediately. “In a healthy marriage, intimacy is a shared choice, not an obligation,” the statement read.
The agency further noted that expressing discomfort or refusal only after an act has ended presents a more complex situation. While it may not constitute withdrawal during the act, it could still be considered sexual misconduct if the initial consent was obtained under pressure, fear, or without full information. “The safest approach, and the respectful one, is to check in and ensure your partner is still comfortable from start to finish,” the agency advised, highlighting the importance of clear, ongoing, and enthusiastic consent.
The advisory aims to promote awareness and encourage respectful communication in marital relationships to prevent sexual misconduct and ensure mutual safety and trust.
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