WHEN I MARRIED EL-RUFAI, I DIDN’T EXPECT A POLYGAMOUS UNION – HADIZA. (PHOTO).

 When I Married El-Rufai, I Didn’t Expect A Polygamous Union – Hadiza

Hadiza Isma El-Rufai, wife of former Kaduna State governor Nasir El-Rufai, has shared how her marriage evolved into a polygamous one, a situation she says she did not initially anticipate.

Mrs El-Rufai, the first wife of the former governor, made this known in a post on her X (formerly Twitter) account on Sunday while reacting to an online discussion on polygamy.

She explained that she grew up in a monogamous family and expected the same structure when she got married.

According to her, although her husband was raised in a polygamous home, the issue of taking additional wives was never discussed before their marriage.

“When we agreed to get married, I envisaged a monogamous marriage, even though the subject was never discussed,” she said.

She noted that the marriage later transitioned into a polygamous one when her husband married two other wives, Asia Ahmad El-Rufai and Aisha Ummi Garba El-Rufai.

Reflecting on her experience, Mrs El-Rufai stated that the decision to enter polygamy was not hers. However, she chose to remain in the marriage afterward.

“I now find myself in a polygamous marriage, not by choice initially,” she said, adding that staying in the marriage was a personal decision she made willingly.

She emphasised that under Islamic law, a woman has the right to exit a marriage if she chooses, through a process known as khulʿ, which involves returning the dowry paid at marriage.

“We got married under Islamic law, and under that law, a woman reserves the right to opt out of a marriage, even without giving a reason,” she explained.

Speaking humorously, she suggested that having already spent her dowry may have influenced her decision to stay, before concluding that she chose to focus on the positive aspects of her situation.

“I decided to look at the good side of things. When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade,” she said.

Mrs El-Rufai also shared what she considers some benefits of polygamy for first wives, including having more time for personal pursuits, careers, and children. 

She added that in later years, sharing domestic responsibilities can reduce pressure on the wife.

She further noted that dealing with extended family issues can be easier when responsibilities are shared among co-wives.

However, she expressed scepticism about the advantages of polygamy for men, stating that aside from sexual considerations, she sees little benefit for them.